Go Aggies.

Learning the words to Rise and Shout: $ 0
BYU license plate tee from bookstore: $25
Stylish sunglasses: $49
Dinner with date at the Brick Oven before the game: $50
Below the knee length cargo shorts: $55
Gold CTR ring in the language of my mission: $150
Sony camcorder to tape the big game: $399

Enjoying a good smoke at halftime: Priceless

Dear Sam,

Dear Sam,

Hi, our names our Alex and Whitney Putnam and we just wanted to let you know how much we love being members of your club. Ever since we bought our membership at Sam's we have had such enjoyable experiences at your store here in Logan, Utah. We love the samples (we fall for them and buy the products almost every time - hook, line, and sinker!), the exclusively Sam's products are such a treat, the store is always clean, the employees are friendly, and the bulk granola bars have become our new best friends. Sam whatever you're doing, keep doing it, cause you're doing it right!

There is one thing however that we did want to address and that is your relationship with Wal-Mart. Who is Wally? A brother? Uncle? Distant Cousin? Well Sam however you and Wally are related we suggest that you sever those ties as soon as possible and continue business and life without him. We have a system in our house that we refer to as the 3 Strikes. We've got 3 Strikes until we lose Whitney and the day is ruined, and they are:

1. Hungry

2. Hot

3. Shopping at Wal-Mart

Especially when we're experiencing a combination of the three then there is no hope - you're OUT! We never have a pleasant experience at that blasted store - no matter the location - and they even just put another Wal-Mart in at the other end of main street! Really Sam, we don't need it! And you don't either, so we actually have a solution for you. Rid your life and business dealings of Wal-Mart in all ways possible and replace that spot in your life with Target - we think you'd make a great match. Really, Sam's and Target make much more sense than Sam's and Wal-Mart and we think that you would be much happier too.

Sam please consider our suggestion and make the transition as soon as possible. Thank you again for the samples and lovely shopping atmosphere,

A & W Putnam

Toilet or urinal?

So Alex, Jenn (Al's Sis), and I joined the rest of the Putnams at Pineview a couple weeks ago for Brad and Paige's beautiful wedding. Their ceremony really was out of a movie or something - it was just breathtaking.

After the wedding was over the three of us were driving down to Ogden to meet siblings and friends for dinner and to be quite frank my bladder was about to burst. Explode. Or implode. Either way. Anyway, we stopped at a gas station right off of Pineview and I leap out of the car to sprint inside to the restroom. Little did I know that the sprinting didn't help at all because the relief was further away than I thought...Let's just say that when your bladder takes over it's possible that you'll say or do things that you've never said or done before in your entire life.

So I run back to the restrooms in the station and there is this ghetto sign taped to the door that says, "Our restrooms are reserved for paying customers only. Please see the attendant for your purchase and the bathroom key." Are you kidding me? Of course in my desperation to reach the restrooms I didn't bring in my wallet. I ran back to the car, ran back inside, grabbed a pack of gum, handed it to the, "attendant," and said, "I need the bathroom key." As slow as possible she rang up my purchase and told me that someone else had just beaten me to it, but I could wait for her to come out of the bathroom and just get the key from her. Awesome.

Picture this. Whitney, pacing back and forth in the back of the Sinclair next to the fridge with all of the drinks of course, with a look on her face that could have turned you to stone (Al knows the look, just ask him.) In the meantime, while pacing, some guy comes back to the men's restroom with the men's key and closes that door. All hope is officially lost.

I'm just staring at the women's door, while pacing, and this girl isn't making a move in there. I can't hear flushing, hand washing, paper towel pulling, nothin. Just as I thought that all was lost - including my bladder control - the men's restroom door opens and I whip around as something else just took over me - it's called my bladder. The look on my face probably would have scared small children - and adults for that matter - as I quickly said to the man, "Toilet or Urinal?" "Both, why?" At his response I put out my hand and in a deep voice that I didn't know existed inside of me, all that I could utter was, "Keys."

Yes that's right. I used the men's restroom at the gas station and then handed the keys over to a man waiting in line when I exited - with a smile on my face for that matter. It was traumatic for a second, and then has been hilarious ever since. Add that one to the list of most embarrassing, hysterical, and traumatic experiences ever...